Hurricane season cometh.

Me in downtown Pass Christian, MS -2005. That's town square right there, folks. (click for larger view) You can see the vault for the bank just left of the tree, one of the few things left standing. That's not wind damage. Where I'm standing was under about 9 ft of water!

And here we go again. Summer's just around the corner. We activate our EOC probably 4 or 5 times a year because of these cursed tropical storms. We're good at it though. My region of the United States has got their stuff together, let me tell you. Katrina was less than a year ago. Now we're gearing up for it all again. We were fortunate last year. We didn't take a direct hit from Katrina. We did take a direct hit from (-CENSORED-), but the world hardly noticed. We still haven't recovered from Hurricane Ivan and probably won't for years to come. Katrina gave us a pretty swift kick in the ass, but nothing like Missisippi. Those poor folks in Pass Christian lost their whole town. Screw New Orleans. The world never even noticed Mississippi.

If we don't get hit, this year, almost certainly someone nearby will. And very likely, those of us who are field deployable will be on some task force for response. So far, I've deployed out of town for Hurricane's Charley, Katrina and Ivan. How does a dispatcher deploy you say? I drive and operate this:

"--CENSORED--" Command Center

It has deployed more frequently than I ever would have guessed. It looks roomy, but a week on that son of a gun with no showers, eating MRE's is no cake walk. I do make very good money while deployed and for that I feel very fortunate. While the rest of the impacted community must stay at home, unable to work, those in public service are able to continue to make an income. Though we get no time off during times of disaster and must sacrifice the ability to be at home to make needed repairs and see to our own belongings and families, we are able to continue to provide financial support.

That's the bright side...all of it. Man I hate summer, but here it comes anyway.

And the contract goes to....the lowest bidder.

Damn that concept! Cheap is cheap. We've been in our new communications facility with all of our fancy consoles and computers for 16 months now. Everything is high tech, buddy. We're talking state of the art! Everything, except of course, the most important thing. The 9-1-1 phone system is the cheapest, most unreliable piece of shit ever created for public service. (--CENSORED--) sucks!!

They have built for us a phone system that does not meet even half of our specifications. About one third of the calls we take doesn't make it to the recall list. So you can give up on calling back that 9-1-1 hang-up you just got. Instant transfer keys will just quit working for no freaking apparent reason. Server connection is lost multiple times, daily and when that happens, nothing works. Currently, we have no working method for manually transfering a 9-1-1 call to a 7 or 10 digit number. That's a problem because if we don't have a working instant transfer key, the call does not get transferred to the appropriate law enforcement agency. Mark my words, this phone system will kill somebody! And until it does, nothing will happen. Apparently 16 months is not enough time for the clowns at (--CENSORED--) to work out the bugs on this system. It is essentially a beta program, a clear violation of the specifications that (--CENSORED--) bid upon. Only one other call center has this version and it's up in Alaska. I have no idea how well it works for them but it is cursed daily here in (--CENSORED--).

Boy, you look at EMS and Fire and how EVERYTHING they have is the absolute best money can buy. No expense is spared, and that is as it should be. But what the hell were they thinking by letting us go live on an unproven, untested, cheesy piece of shit system like this?? Our old call center was 1980's technology. Buttons, buttons...everywhere buttons. Little blinking lights and more freaking buttons. But by gawd those buttons worked, every single time. It was reliable. Now, Four or five computer screens is all you see and we have more stinking problems than anyone can count. The public knows nothing of it all. If they did they'd be pressuring their commisioners to fork out some jack for replacing this ridiculous piece of crap. "Don't worry" they say to us, "the County Attorney's on the job now. Things are about to happen." Bullshit! that was 6 months ago. Nothing's changed. Way to go folks! Just sweep it under the rug, no one will notice! Maybe it will kill someone but we'll cross that bridge then, right?

"What we haaave heeeeeah.... is a faaailyure.... to communicate!"

ME: "9-1-1"

CALLER: "I need a 'bambulance' over here to carry my wife to the hospital."

ME: "Sir where are you?"

CALLER: (gives location)

ME: "What's a phone number where I can reach you if I need to call you back?"

CALLER: (gives phone number)

ME: "We're getting an ambulance headed that way now, I need to ask you a few questions, OK?

CALLER: "Yeah, OK."

ME: "Is your wife conscious?"

CALLER: "Huh?"

ME: "Is she conscious....is she awake?"

CALLER: "Yeah, she awake."

ME: "Is she breathing?"

CALLER: "Yeah, she breavin'."

ME: "Is she alert?"

CALLER: "Is she a what??"

ME: "Is your wife ALERT?

CALLER: "Man, I ain't never heard of no..."LERT"...she a African American."

ME: -- sigh--

The worst society has to offer.

Imagine the lowest form of human life you can. I'm talking gutter trashed, pond scum...people who are lower than whale shit. I had the misfortune of speaking with one of these oxygen thieves today. This woman...I mean substandard lifeform of the female persuasion...decided that after breeding 4 children into this world...an infant, 2 y/o, 9 y/o, and a 12 y/o...she would like the Great State of (--CENSORED--) to take over the responsibility of raising them because, and I quote, "These damned kids won't shut up." I couldn't believe my ears. Her excuse was that she was a "single mom" whose husband left her. She said she was afraid she'd hurt them if they were left in her care and that they all needed to go to foster homes.

Can you imagine the paralyzing fear that would envelop a child who just learned that mommy doesn't want them anymore and they're going to be taken away to live with strangers? What a bitch! They ought to rip her reproductive machine out so she can't pollute the world any further. If I were king, she'd be forced to live in a halfway house and work to pay for the foster care expenses of those children until they are self supporting adults. She'd also have her picture posted on billboards with a caption reading "Please don't breed with this woman, she's already given birth to four orphans!"

It's thankless but somehow I still love it.

Most people have a general idea of what 9-1-1 dispatchers do. Somewhere there is an emergency, someone dials 9-1-1, and the dispatcher answers and sends help….Simple right? I wish. No, nothing is ever simple when it comes to dealing with people, especially when they need help.

They expect you to push a button and solve their particular problem. You may not know where they are. They may not know where they are. They may be sick, injured, angry, crying, belligerent, insane, mentally challenged, hysterical, high, drunk or dying. They may speak like they have a mouth full of marbles…”mush mouths” we call them. As an English speaking dispatcher, you must be fully capable of understanding different dialects of English like Redneck or Ebonics. (For those of you who think those aren’t separate dialects complete with their own vocabulary, pronunciations and grammar, you’re sadly mistaken.) They may be able to do nothing but wet their pants and scream at the top of their lungs into the phone and expect you to decipher from their blood curdling shrills their location and nature of the emergency. It’s amazing to me how many people in this world can absolutely lose all of their faculties when confronted with an emergency. They instantly become useless, blubbering idiots, totally incapable of controlling or helping themselves, much less anyone else. Equally amazing to me is the high percentage of people who walk around every day having absolutely no clue where in the hell they are. They may know how to get where they are going but to tell you where they currently are…not a chance. Most people can’t even tell north from south. As if fate had a sense of humor, these are always the people that call 9-1-1. For this reason, a dispatcher must be intimately familiar with their entire jurisdiction…geographical geniuses, if you will.

Multitasking is probably the most essential ability required of a dispatcher. One must be able to give patient information to responders on the radio for one incident, while typing notes from another incident. They must be able to simultaneously take one call while finishing the narrative of another, and looking up the location to yet another in a map. Try talking about one thing while typing a complete thought about another. It’s tougher than you think. Their short term memory must be excellent. They must be able to remember to make that notification to the Highway Patrol or Power Company after the rush slows down, which may be 10 phone calls later. You may be working three channels at one time. Someone can call you on one channel, and while you are answering them someone calls you on another. Now you have two conversations going simultaneously. While you are communicating with one unit, the other unit is delivering important information that must be absorbed and properly disseminated. Trust me…it’s an art, not a science.

Twelve hour shifts take their toll on the mind and body. We have no regularly scheduled breaks. That’s right, public safety is exempt from what the department of labor requires of other industries. You eat while you work. Because of this, management is quite flexible on unscheduled breaks. Smokers get the most breaks. Needing a cigarette is like needing to go to the bathroom. Apparently it’s a good reason to have to leave the room. I don’t smoke so the only breaks I get in twelve hours of work are those involving the restroom…usually 3 minutes or less. Down times, or periods of inactivity require nothing more than you manning your post. So it’s hard to complain because those times may be spent reading, watching a muted television or having a personal conversation with a coworker. These times of inactivity usually don’t last long but inevitably they are the times when visitors enter the room. Firefighters and Medics come in and see you doing absolutely nothing and form the unfair opinion that that is all you do. They of course have no room to judge. Anyone who has ever walked in a firehouse and seen 5 firefighters kicked back in lazyboys, sleeping or watching their big screen TV could vouch for that. Medics at an outlying post spend much of their day in a similar fashion. They often fail to piece together the simple puzzle that if they are busy so are you.

But dispatching involves no immediate threat or hazard to life or limb so they are often viewed or treated as the redheaded stepchildren of public safety…no doubt an integral and essential part but less the glamour and recognition. Some Medics and Firefighters can come across as snobbish, high maintenance primadonnas whose egos constantly require stroking. Certainly not all of them are like that. Most of the those types are rather new to the job. Occasionally they will literally strut in and strike a pose in all of their tactical gear and expect some kind of hero worship almost like they assume that we all somehow aspire to get out of the radio room and into an ambulance or fire truck. Most of us have years of field experience and, having been there done that, are not easily impressed. Their higher pay and fatter retirement benefits add fuel to the belief that they are somehow higher ranking than we are. As far as EMS is concerned, the smart medics know that we actually manage their work load and could make their day absolutely miserable if we chose to. We could easily control the difference between, say.... 6 transports and 12 transports. I've always got plenty of non-emergency BLS transfers to spare that I can put on a particular pain in the ass crew. Or I can purposely leave a central post wide open for them...knowing they won't sit there long. It usually doesn't take long for the rookies to learn.

So why do this thankless job? Well it certainly isn’t the paycheck. It’s most definitely not the glory or recognition. (If a dispatcher makes the headlines you can bet it’s because he or she screwed up.) I do it for several reasons but the most significant is the satisfaction of knowing that I do an important job that not many people can do and that at least once a day (usually more) I make a difference in some person’s life. Whether they recognize it or not, I do. At the end of the day, somehow that’s enough. It’s a constant reality check as well. I take less for granted. I look both ways two, maybe three times before pulling into traffic. I spot and scrutinize suspicious people more thoroughly. I monitor more closely the whereabouts of my children. I take every opportunity to tell them I love them because I know first hand that tomorrow may not come. It keeps my feet firmly planted on the ground. My personality has a natural tendency to forget such things, and I need the constant reminder.

9-1-1, it's what I do.

I decided to start this new blog to include a more specific subject matter than can be found at Wight Wing Wadical, specifically my job. Not everyone cares about what I do for a living or wants to hear me bitch about it. Many people may not even understand. Hell, most people probably won’t understand. Some of it I don’t understand. Complaining about work at work is most unadvisable. Therefore, most people must seek out a place to do so because bottling it in is even more unadvisable. This medium seems ideal, so I’ve chosen this place to put my thoughts in writing.

I happen to find it healthy to be able to sit and reflect on the tragedy I’m exposed to everyday. Reflection is impossible to do while immersed in the daily stressors of public safety work but it is necessary to either make sense of it all or at least file it away in some orderly fashion. Lack of reflection will lead to a callusing of the senses…not the same as the desensitization that is essential to being effective at intervening in an emergency, but rather a hardening of the heart and emotions that make us human, the very things that separate us from the lowlifes that we have daily contact with and come to despise.

Those in this business have a tendency to judge people by looking at them through the same lenses as they do the vile, drunk, seedy, perverted, belligerent, violent, crazy, hysterical, sometimes downright evil element of society that we are exposed to everyday. Unfortunately for us, it is these types of people that either need our services or cause others to need our services most often. However, we must treat everyone the same. Sinners and saints are supposed to receive the same level of service. We are forced to automatically equalize everyone in order to provide the level of service that the public expects. Turning that particular area of yourself off when you leave work often proves more difficult than one might imagine. Burnout is common. Change in personality is inevitable. Divorce rate is high, clinical depression is rampant, and alienating one’s self from everyone including loved ones is an unintended but often unavoidable side effect of a life spent serving others.

The inability to talk about the things that we see, hear and feel with those we love is due, in part, to the often correct presumption that they will not understand. There is also an underlying desire to protect them from those extremely low levels of society that we so often encounter. It is common to entrust these reflections only to those who do the same thing we do day in and day out. Cops tend to gravitate to other cops, Firefighters to Firefighters, and the same with EMT’s, Paramedics and 911 dispatchers. That natural gravitation often causes an “us against them” distrust of other specialized public safety professionals. That “inter-service rivalry”, as it is sometimes referred to, is not spoken of very often outside of the small circles we’ve come to trust. But it is there, and any public safety professional who denies it is just a rookie and will be properly indoctrinated soon enough.

So it is here, that I will attempt to dissuade myself from taking on the unhealthy characteristics of the burnouts and assholes that so often make up the veterans of Public Safety. Not all posts will be negative. I will bitch when bitching is necessary. That may be pretty often but I will attempt to include those things that make this job worth doing as well. Perhaps by doing so, I can maintain some sense of individuality, keep hold of my own personality and sanity and continue to be the person that my family and friends love. Perhaps by putting these things in writing, I will be able to keep from alienating myself from those who are most important to me. There is an advantage to composing one’s thoughts in writing. You can’t backspace and edit in a conversation. You can’t take back what you’ve said, but a composition always comes out just right.

My name is Jason, and this is what I do.